Darwin Awards


Staff member
Crazy! We haven't seen this many since never. Four below, and
just coming across my desk is this report: "Angela's mother admits
her daughter was 'always in a party mode.' The 20-year-old woman
was playing Nintendo in the passenger seat of a pickup when she
threw her head out the open window; she was killed when her head
struck several mailboxes. Authorities said the woman was 'just
hanging out the truck window having fun.' Her mother found the
story 'credible.'" Below are 4 more wonder women:

GIMPY WENDY (honorable mention)
DOUBLE DIPPING (darwin award)
TRIFECTA ELECTRA (darwin award)

SHE TALKS FASTER THAN SHE WALKS -- Darwin Award -- Confirmed True

May 2009, Louisiana | Back seat drivers beware! Annoyed at how
slowly her boyfriend was driving, Tamera B, 22, encouraged him to
pick up the pace so she could get to work on time. Joking that it
would be faster to walk to work, she opened the door of the
pickup and stuck her foot out before falling to her
death. Deputies of the jurisdictional Sheriff's Office stated
that the truck was traveling at highway speed on I-12 at the time
of the incident. Her death was ruled accidental.

Wendy Northcutt writes books. Consider a purchase.

GIMPY WENDY -- Honorable Mention -- Confirmed True

AUGUST 2009 | NEWS: Wendy Darwin Northcutt, writer of humorous
obituaries and author of five Darwin Awards books, nearly made
her own dark list when she broke her leg devising a clever way
to cool the house during a California heat wave. She opened up a
grate in the hallway intending to install a fan to force basement
air up. The phone rang and, forgetting about the hole in the floor,
three hours passed before she wandered back down the hall and fell
into it. Crunch!

A broken leg was the price she paid for the lesson:
Never walk away from a hole in the floor.

DOUBLE DIPPING -- Darwin Award -- Confirmed True

June 2009, North Carolina | Greensboro was innundated with four
inches of pouring rain in two hours leading to standing water,
and stranding cars on several roads. Rosanne Tippett, 50, was
not deterred. She hopped on her moped and drove to a convenience
store where she possibly had a beer, according to her mother,
before deciding to blunder home through the storm. She phoned
home to share her intentions, saying, "My moped has two rubber
wheels, Mom, I'll be fine."

North Carolina does not require a license to own a moped.
Ms. Tippett had acquired hers two years previously after a DUI

The Highway Patrol had blocked off several roads that were
inundated with water, including Ms. Tippett's path home. But
Ms. Tippett rode right past the officer and the barriers, lost
control of her vehicle, and fell into the swollen creek
below. The officer retrieved rope from his vehicle and proceeded
to haul her from the water.

He then interviewed Ms. Tippett, probably inquiring about her
motivation for speeding through a roadblock during a flash
flood. The officer began to suspect that she had been
drinking. When he briefly returned to his patrol car, Ms. Tippett
took the opportunity to confirm his suspicions. She escaped--by
jumping back into the creek!

The Highway Patrol officer attempted to rescue her again, but
alas, it was too late. The victim's mother speculated that her
daughter's motivation for jumping into a flooded creek was to
rescue her drowning moped. "She loved that thing.

VOTE! http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2009-04.html
Wendy Northcutt recommends 'Noam Chomsky on Concision'.
TRIFECTA ELECTRA -- Darwin Award -- Confirmed True

October 2009, Florida | The Slush Pile mods say age fifteen is
too young to win, but this case might be an exception. A Palm Bay
couple and their 15-year-old son were putting up a ham radio
antenna one evening. Bafflingly, not one of them thought to
survey their surroundings. Unaware of the presence of an unseen
menace overhead, the trio raised the aerial pole in the dark,
struck a power line, and Zap! Three Darwin Award winners.

"It is an unfortunate set of circumstances that led to the most
tragic result," said the Palm Bay Fire Marshal. "It happened in
an instant." However, it can hardly be called an accident. All
three were voluntary particpants and old enough to know better.

Readers beware, power lines lurk overhead waiting for the
unwary. Our thanks to 55-year-old Melville, 49-year-old Anna and
15-year-old Anthony for reminding us not to stick a pole in the
power grid. Just say no to premature cremation.


What fucktards. Hell must be full of stupid people. I can just imagine Satan going insane and wishing he hadn't used that snake to tempt Eve with that apple.