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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 14 Feb 2019, 06:06

My brother sent me this from a question/answer blog ...

Are you allowed to give a police officer the middle finger?

Matt Pickering
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Answered Mar 6, 2014 · Author has 7.4k answers and 20.5m answer views

I'll allow a law enforcement officer to answer that question in his own words....

I'm parked in the lot of one of the two Stab-n-Grabs in town, catching up on some paperwork, when the local teenage hell-raiser screams by on the highway, arm out the window and grinning like a chimp as he gives me the finger.

Naturally, I cut in behind him, and follow for about two blocks before I turn on the lights and pull him over.

I walk up to the door, and gently ask for his drivers licence, insurance and registration.

"What for?" he asks, all innocent.

"Because I asked for it." I reply, equally innocent.

He gives me the requested documents, I walk back to the Super Scooter and check him and his pickup for wants and warrants. All clear -- for once.

I walk back to the driver's side door, flip open my Book of Citations and begin writing.

He looks at me, sputters a bit, then yaps, "You can't write me a ticket!"

"Why not?" I ask, filling in Block 9.

"Because you can't!"

"The answer 'because' doesn't work on my nieces and nephews," I answer, X-ing Block 23, "Articulate a reason."

"You're a cop! My daddy says you can't be insulted by anything!"

"That is correct." I sign with a flourish.

"So you can't write me for flipping you off. I'm not signing that."

"Correct. How-some-ever, this is not a ticket for flipping me off. You extended your left arm horizontally out of the drivers side window."

"So?"

"So, anyone who passed Drivers Education should know that an extended left arm is a signal for a left turn. You failed to turn left. Sign here, this is not a plea of guilty, it is merely a promise to appear in court."

"You're ticketing me for ILLEGAL USE OF A TURN SIGNAL?!"

I am SO going to hell for that one.

*sigh*

He paid it, though.


I'm pretty sure it is legal but be aware of how and when you do it and the unintended consequences!
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Re: funny

Postby HBS Guy » 14 Feb 2019, 06:38

Stab-n-Grab?

Cops can get you for anything. Here it is illegal to have any part of your body outside the car. There is always “dangerous driving” etc.
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 14 Feb 2019, 07:08

HBS Guy wrote:Stab-n-Grab?

Cops can get you for anything. Here it is illegal to have any part of your body outside the car. There is always “dangerous driving” etc.


"Stop and Rob" is another expression.

There is a chain of small convenience stores that are actually called "Grab and Go", believe it or not.

As for the cops ...

There are gazillions of rarely enforced traffic regulations which may instantly pop into an officer's memory when someone drives by giving him the finger.

Choices, consequences ...

Act like a dick, get treated like one.
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Re: funny

Postby Aussie » 14 Feb 2019, 09:04

Hey Seth...how about this true tale. Client of mine was pulled over by a motorcycle cop (still remember the Cops name...Dave Findlay.......nice enough bloke but too zealous and totally naive) for exceeding the speed limit on his 50 cc motor cycle.

Dave: You are exceeding the speed limit.

Client: Nah, that thing could not get over the limit going down hill.

Dave: You exceeded the limit.

Client: No I wasn't.

That's how the evidence came. Client and Dave were in accord on the conversation. So....fast forward to me cross-examining (yes...client was adamant he was innocent of the ultimate charge....using offensive language to a Copper in the course of his duty).......

Me: That's when you asked him....'Do you think I am stupid or something?'

Dave: Yes, that's correct.

Me: Did you expect him to answer honestly?

Dave: Yes.

Me: And that's when he said to you, "Yes, I think you are stupid."

(It was for that alleged insult client was charged by Dave.)

Magistrate immediately intervened as expected, and tossed the charge out, with Dave left in the Box scratching his head.

Me and client depart, grinning like Cheshire cats....."come in spinner!!!"

:bgrin
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 14 Feb 2019, 11:39

Aussie wrote:Hey Seth...how about this true tale. Client of mine was pulled over by a motorcycle cop (still remember the Cops name...Dave Findlay.......nice enough bloke but too zealous and totally naive) for exceeding the speed limit on his 50 cc motor cycle.

Dave: You are exceeding the speed limit.

Client: Nah, that thing could not get over the limit going down hill.

Dave: You exceeded the limit.

Client: No I wasn't.

That's how the evidence came. Client and Dave were in accord on the conversation. So....fast forward to me cross-examining (yes...client was adamant he was innocent of the ultimate charge....using offensive language to a Copper in the course of his duty).......

Me: That's when you asked him....'Do you think I am stupid or something?'

Dave: Yes, that's correct.

Me: Did you expect him to answer honestly?

Dave: Yes.

Me: And that's when he said to you, "Yes, I think you are stupid."

(It was for that alleged insult client was charged by Dave.)

Magistrate immediately intervened as expected, and tossed the charge out, with Dave left in the Box scratching his head.

Me and client depart, grinning like Cheshire cats....."come in spinner!!!"

:bgrin


Well, that's what he gets for deviating from the script. When people I stopped denied that they did the violation, I'd just tell them they could appear in court and request a trial. Not, "Do you think I'm stupid."
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 15 Feb 2019, 15:08

To the ladies on the site ...

Texas valentine.jpg
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Re: funny

Postby Texan » 15 Feb 2019, 16:44

SethBullock wrote:To the ladies on the site ...

Texas valentine.jpg

I think the lovely Mrs. Texan could share that feast. It might feed my sons also, if it weren't Valentine's Day.
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Re: funny

Postby johnsmith » 15 Feb 2019, 17:05

SethBullock wrote:To the ladies on the site ...

Texas valentine.jpg



hey,I'll have Mothras share since she refuses to partake in good cuisine. :bgrin

(sorry mothra :roll :roll )
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Re: funny

Postby johnsmith » 15 Feb 2019, 17:11

words of wisdom :bgrin
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Re: funny

Postby johnsmith » 15 Feb 2019, 18:05

CAUTION: SONG CONTAINS PROFANITY




:Monk, can you get the video working please. :thumb


Found the correct URL for you. I dunno, work my fingers to the bone and all I get is complaints. . .
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Re: funny

Postby johnsmith » 17 Feb 2019, 08:12

johnsmith wrote:
Found the correct URL for you. I dunno, work my fingers to the bone and all I get is complaints. . .


thanks. Consider yourself lucky that I still have use for you occasionally :clap :clap :clap
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 17 Feb 2019, 13:04

"At least he's not Hillary" - Hatty

"There's only one solution: MORE guns!" - greggerypeccary

... "mr know it all" - Bongalong
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 17 Feb 2019, 13:05

"At least he's not Hillary" - Hatty

"There's only one solution: MORE guns!" - greggerypeccary

... "mr know it all" - Bongalong
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 17 Feb 2019, 13:14

Glad I wasn't taking a swallow of beer when "Connie" chimes in...

"At least he's not Hillary" - Hatty

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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 17 Feb 2019, 13:27

"At least he's not Hillary" - Hatty

"There's only one solution: MORE guns!" - greggerypeccary

... "mr know it all" - Bongalong
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 18 Feb 2019, 01:44

"At least he's not Hillary" - Hatty

"There's only one solution: MORE guns!" - greggerypeccary

... "mr know it all" - Bongalong
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 19 Feb 2019, 08:51

It's a federal holiday today - Washington's Birthday. It's also known as Presidents Day.

Presidents Day2 (2).png
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Re: funny

Postby johnsmith » 19 Feb 2019, 21:33

SethBullock wrote:It's a federal holiday today - Washington's Birthday. It's also known as Presidents Day.

Presidents Day2 (2).png



:giggle :giggle :giggle :giggle
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 04 Mar 2019, 00:28

Addict (2).jpg
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Re: funny

Postby HBS Guy » 04 Mar 2019, 10:52

AHAHAHAHAHA that’d be right, morons looking at their phone walking across the road, when bloody driving etc.
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 04 Mar 2019, 11:22

HBS Guy wrote:AHAHAHAHAHA that’d be right, morons looking at their phone walking across the road, when bloody driving etc.


This is hilarious.

"At least he's not Hillary" - Hatty

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... "mr know it all" - Bongalong
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Re: funny

Postby mothra » 05 Mar 2019, 18:43

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Re: funny

Postby Squire » 06 Mar 2019, 11:26

When I was married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, “Honey, 25 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old blonde.” “Now we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 50-year-old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things.” My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25-year-old blonde, * * * * * * * * * * * and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.”
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 10 Mar 2019, 01:50

Mothra, my debate with you made me think of this scene from "Police Academy". Sgt Callahan instructs the recruits on hand-to-hand self defense ...

"At least he's not Hillary" - Hatty

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... "mr know it all" - Bongalong
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 10 Mar 2019, 12:13

"At least he's not Hillary" - Hatty

"There's only one solution: MORE guns!" - greggerypeccary

... "mr know it all" - Bongalong
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