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Re: funny

Postby Aussie » 26 Jan 2019, 20:22

johnsmith wrote:
Aussie wrote:You run your lawnmower "in the house?"


my dogs (i don't currently have any) have NEVER done a number 2 in the house. Haven't you heard of toilet training?


:grn
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Re: funny

Postby johnsmith » 26 Jan 2019, 20:24

Aussie wrote:
johnsmith wrote:
Aussie wrote:You run your lawnmower "in the house?"


my dogs (i don't currently have any) have NEVER done a number 2 in the house. Haven't you heard of toilet training?


:grn



OK, I just re-read Tallys comment. My bad. I missed the bit about the dogs doing number 2's 'in the house' :roll

Tally, what the hell is wrong with you? Train your dogs.
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Re: funny

Postby HBS Guy » 27 Jan 2019, 18:10

Current mutt has done the odd #2 in the house lately. Niece reckons it is dementia. I need to throw the dog outside late enough at night/early enough in the morning and no dramas. Chi was better behaved.

Never any point hitting the mutt UNLESS you catch them in the act. Ignoring them even for a minute or two hurts them much more.
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Re: funny

Postby johnsmith » 27 Jan 2019, 18:14

HBS Guy wrote:Current mutt has done the odd #2 in the house lately. Niece reckons it is dementia. I need to throw the dog outside late enough at night/early enough in the morning and no dramas. Chi was better behaved.

Never any point hitting the mutt UNLESS you catch them in the act. Ignoring them even for a minute or two hurts them much more.



if you don't catch them in the act, don't even bother chastising them. They have no idea what you are on about
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Re: funny

Postby HBS Guy » 27 Jan 2019, 18:47

Yup, and dogs do not “look guilty” they pick up, in a nanosecond, body language + tone of voice that they are about to be chastised is all.
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 27 Jan 2019, 19:01

"At least he's not Hillary" - Hatty

"There's only one solution: MORE guns!" - greggerypeccary

... "mr know it all" - Bongalong
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Re: funny

Postby johnsmith » 27 Jan 2019, 19:37

:clap :clap

I've gotta get me another dog
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Re: funny

Postby Aussie » 27 Jan 2019, 19:51

SethBullock wrote:


:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl
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Re: funny

Postby Aussie » 27 Jan 2019, 19:55

johnsmith wrote::clap :clap

I've gotta get me another dog


We've always had a pooch.....currently sans pooch. I kinda like that as it allows freedom to just piss off any time. But...still miss the buggers. Never ever had a destructive one like those guilty in that video.
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Re: funny

Postby HBS Guy » 28 Jan 2019, 06:49

Current mutt has chewed the odd shoe or slipper.
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Re: funny

Postby HBS Guy » 28 Jan 2019, 06:50

Mind you, she is ALWAYS on the lookout for food: don’t leave a bag of food scraps where she can get there. Can open a pedal rubbish bin.
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Re: funny

Postby johnsmith » 28 Jan 2019, 07:44

HBS Guy wrote:Current mutt has chewed the odd shoe or slipper.



I've probably told this story before but for those that haven't heard it, I'll go again.

I had a male doberman that used to target my good shirts. Back then I was young and single, my good shirts would cost me $200 - $300 each ( i had to try something to impress the ladies :roll ).... he never touched my old painting tops, just my good ones. I'd buy a shirt, wear it once, wash it, hang it out and come back home from work to find it torn to shreds. I tried everything including smearing them with hot chilli and putting water balloons in them so when he grabbed the shirt they popped, nothing worked. After about 6 months of this I was running out of patience, and ideas. A friend suggested I set up a circuit with a car battery. Tarp under clothes line covered in water, with a lead from that water to a car battery terminal, another lead from the other terminal to wet shirt hanging on the line. The plan was that when he stood in the pool of water and grabbed the shirt, he'd complete the circuit.I set it all up but didn't connect the circuit ...but funnily enough from that day onward he never touched my shirts again. I think the bastard knew what I was going to do and knew what I wanted him to do all along :mad .

4 years later I got a female doberman as well to keep him company. When she got to about 10 months old, she started doing the same thing. She grabbed a couple of shirt over a two week period. One day I got home from work early (rare in those days). I looked out the back window into the yard and saw her standing under the clothesline looking at my shirt hanging there. I thought good, I can catch her in the act today and try to put a stop to it. Then out of the corner of my eye I see my male crawling in the grass, stalking her. I decided I'd instead wait to see what he was up to instead of confronting my bitch. When she stood on her hind legs to grab my shirt, he pounced and bit her on the rump. She never again touched my shirts.

I was so happy that after all my initial grief with the shirt years earlier, he not only figured out what I wanted, but he taught the female not to touch them 4 years later.

I cried for months when that dog died. :sad
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 28 Jan 2019, 08:52

gillette3 (2).png
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 28 Jan 2019, 09:03

Matthew Finders Dies After Waiting 200 Years For A Fucking Train

Matthew Finder 3.png
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Re: funny

Postby HBS Guy » 28 Jan 2019, 17:48

Encounter Bay on the south coast of Adelaide was named by Flinders because he met a French expedition lead by Baudin there. There is a Flinders St in the City of Adelaide and the major hospital in the southern suburbs of Adelaide is the Flinders Medical Centre.

I thought he had been murdered and his body found for a second, then heard about the graveyard under the train lines!
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Re: funny

Postby Tally » 29 Jan 2019, 12:37

HBS Guy wrote:Current mutt has done the odd #2 in the house lately. Niece reckons it is dementia. I need to throw the dog outside late enough at night/early enough in the morning and no dramas. Chi was better behaved.

Never any point hitting the mutt UNLESS you catch them in the act. Ignoring them even for a minute or two hurts them much more.


That's exactly what I was talking about. 11 year old Lab would very very occasionally leave me a welcome home present even tho the back door is always open.
I guess with age dogs regress to childhood just as humans do.
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Re: funny

Postby mothra » 29 Jan 2019, 16:50

Image
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Re: funny

Postby Tally » 29 Jan 2019, 18:00

mothra wrote:Image


Ever had a pet cockatoo? They totally rule the house.
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Re: funny

Postby mothra » 29 Jan 2019, 18:02

Tally wrote:Ever had a pet cockatoo? They totally rule the house.



No but my cousins did. It just ran around attacking feet.
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 30 Jan 2019, 12:00

mothra wrote:
Tally wrote:Ever had a pet cockatoo? They totally rule the house.



No but my cousins did. It just ran around attacking feet.


Lol ...
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 30 Jan 2019, 12:14

"At least he's not Hillary" - Hatty

"There's only one solution: MORE guns!" - greggerypeccary

... "mr know it all" - Bongalong
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 30 Jan 2019, 13:14

Surströmming (pronounced [²sʉːˌʂʈrœmːɪŋ], Swedish for "sour herring") is a lightly-salted fermented Baltic Sea herring.

The Baltic herring, known as strömming in Swedish, is smaller than the Atlantic herring, found in the North Sea. Traditionally, the definition of strömming is "herring fished in the brackish waters of the Baltic north of the Kalmar Strait". The herring used for surströmming are caught just prior to spawning.

During the production of surströmming, just enough salt is used to prevent the raw herring from rotting. A fermentation process of at least six months gives the fish a characteristic strong smell and somewhat acidic taste. According to a Japanese study, a newly opened can of surströmming has one of the most putrid food smells in the world, stronger than similarly fermented fish dishes such as the Korean hongeohoe or Japanese kusaya. (Wikipedia)

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Re: funny

Postby Aussie » 30 Jan 2019, 13:49

Hahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa! No diamonds for Mum. Nothing for youngest daughter. Eldest daughter gets the bike and Dad wins the prizes.

:bgrin
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Re: funny

Postby johnsmith » 30 Jan 2019, 14:52

mothra wrote:
Tally wrote:Ever had a pet cockatoo? They totally rule the house.



No but my cousins did. It just ran around attacking feet.



I used to have one as a teenager. She loved the men in the house, hated the women. It barely tolerated my mum because she fed her, other women couldn't get near her. Many a time when she chased my sister through the yard, into the house, and my sister would run into her bedroom and shut the door. The cockatoo would sit there trying to chew through the door (which if you know cockatoos isn't difficult for them to do) to get to my sister. It was hilarious watching her waddle after my sister. :c

Me on the other hand, she'd ride on my shoulders and follow me around the house. Every morning when she woke up the first thing she'd do would be to yell out for me. 'John, John'. Great bird.
We later moved to a house next door to a train line ... and first train to come by at night gave her a heart attack and she died of shock.
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Re: funny

Postby mothra » 30 Jan 2019, 19:16

All of this cocky talk reminds me of a joke:

A man inherited a cockatoo from his recently departed father. he was a very gentle man, softly spoken and easily shocked. The cocky however was extrememly badly behaved. Abusing visitors and reguloarly cursing like a sailor.

The man tried everything. training, medication, pet therapy, Dr Harry .. the works but he couldn't get the bird to stop squawking foul mouthed expletives constantly.

One day, after a particularly nasty ourburst from the bird, the man became so enraged that he grabbed the bird and shoved it in the freezer.

Some time passed.

After a while, the kind man's better nature caught up with him and he raced to the fridge to check on the bird. He opened the door and the bird stepped out and cleared it's throat and said:

"I do most sincerely and humbly apologise for my atrocious behaviour. You took me in and cared for me and i repaid you with abuse and vulgarity and for this. i deeply apologise. I see now the error of my ways and regret that it has taken an act so profoundly out of character on your behalf for me to recognise my impact on other. I promise that henceforth i shall endeavour to make onlt audibly pleasing noises and comments of encouragement and positivity."

The man, shocked, reached out his arm and the cockatoo stepped gingerly on and made it's way to the man's shouklder, where it said:

"If i may be so bold as to ask you a question, may i enquire as to what the chicken had done?"
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