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Re: funny

Postby HBS Guy » 14 Jul 2019, 15:56

Too right!
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Re: funny

Postby johnsmith » 15 Jul 2019, 17:55

my wife sent me a link to a facebook page where women are putting up stories from when they were 'hormonal' .... There are 20 000 comments on it so impossible to read them all, but I read a few of them ...... this one had me in stiches


My toddler son cried because his banana was bent the wrong way...then full of hormones, I spent 2 hours sobbing along side him because every banana I got out of the bowl was also bent the wrong way...my OH came in from work, asked why we were both crying...calmly picked up the bananas and one by one turned them over.... suddenly they were now all bending the right way



:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl
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Re: funny

Postby mothra » 16 Jul 2019, 08:52

johnsmith wrote:my wife sent me a link to a facebook page where women are putting up stories from when they were 'hormonal' .... There are 20 000 comments on it so impossible to read them all, but I read a few of them ...... this one had me in stiches


My toddler son cried because his banana was bent the wrong way...then full of hormones, I spent 2 hours sobbing along side him because every banana I got out of the bowl was also bent the wrong way...my OH came in from work, asked why we were both crying...calmly picked up the bananas and one by one turned them over.... suddenly they were now all bending the right way



:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl


Love dad's reaction!

The only time i've been made loony by hormones is during my pregnancies and soon after but not so much loony as oblivious.
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Re: funny

Postby johnsmith » 16 Jul 2019, 18:48

mothra wrote:
johnsmith wrote:my wife sent me a link to a facebook page where women are putting up stories from when they were 'hormonal' .... There are 20 000 comments on it so impossible to read them all, but I read a few of them ...... this one had me in stiches


My toddler son cried because his banana was bent the wrong way...then full of hormones, I spent 2 hours sobbing along side him because every banana I got out of the bowl was also bent the wrong way...my OH came in from work, asked why we were both crying...calmly picked up the bananas and one by one turned them over.... suddenly they were now all bending the right way



:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl


Love dad's reaction!

The only time i've been made loony by hormones is during my pregnancies and soon after but not so much loony as oblivious.



My wife was hormonal after both kids. She was worse after the second birth. I used to get in trouble, she wouldn't talk to me for days and i never knew why. Not even an inkling. This went on (on and off) for about 18 months before she snapped out of it.

look up a facebook site called 'holy flaps' . If you see a dinner plate with 'fuck you' written across it, you're on the right site. ... the comments from some of the women had me in stitches.
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Re: funny

Postby johnsmith » 16 Jul 2019, 18:50

this was another one


My husband once farted so loud and it scared me so much I cried. Because he laughed so much I cry-raged that I wanted a divorce, and told him we needed to put the house on the market. Then I cried because I'd be homeless. Because of a fart.



:rofl
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 18 Jul 2019, 14:02

THE DUCK AND THE LAWYER

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Dakota. He shot a bird, but it fell into the field on the other side of the fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in New York and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in North Dakota. We settle small disagreements like this with the Three Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What’s the Three Kick Rule?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!

His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."



The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."
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Re: funny

Postby johnsmith » 18 Jul 2019, 14:55

that was funny, even if it was a bit predictable. :clap
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Re: funny

Postby Aussie » 18 Jul 2019, 16:30

That joke is often told by Coppers.

:bike
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Re: funny

Postby mothra » 18 Jul 2019, 16:55

Image
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Re: funny

Postby HBS Guy » 28 Jul 2019, 14:28

JOKE OF THE WEEK
After a tiring day, a commuter settled down into her seat and closed her eyes. As the train rolled out of Wynyard , the man sitting next to her pulled out his mobile phone and started talking in a loud voice: “Hi honey, it’s your darling, your Johnny here. I'm on the train! Yes, I know it's the 6.30 and not the 5.30, but I had a long meeting. No, honey, not with that Jennifer from the accounting office. It was with the boss. No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life. Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart!"

Fifteen minutes later, approaching Chatswood, he was still talking loudly.

Finally having had enough, the woman leans over and says into the phone, “Johnny hang up the phone and come back to bed.”

He hung up quick enough!
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Re: funny

Postby johnsmith » 29 Jul 2019, 17:59

:rofl :rofl
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Re: funny

Postby Aussie » 29 Jul 2019, 18:44



Hmmmmm....on second thought, that imagery is a tad creepy!!!

:OMG
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Re: funny

Postby Squire » 30 Jul 2019, 23:38

Image
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 31 Jul 2019, 04:18

Squire wrote:Image


Winning!!
"At least he's not Hillary" - Hatty

"There's only one solution: MORE guns!" - greggerypeccary

... "mr know it all" - Bongalong
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Re: funny

Postby greggerypeccary » 31 Jul 2019, 07:00

Squire wrote:Image



You can just imagine all the Trump supporters, laying in their sisters' beds, thinking to themselves "Yeah, he's right you know".
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Re: funny

Postby johnsmith » 31 Jul 2019, 17:09

:rofl :rofl
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 01 Aug 2019, 14:37

Abolition.jpg
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 03 Aug 2019, 03:48

the-matrix.jpg
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 03 Aug 2019, 03:49

jet race.jpg
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 03 Aug 2019, 03:50

phones.jpeg
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Re: funny

Postby DonDeeHippy » 03 Aug 2019, 07:25

awesome seth.. the airplane one is the best:)
Bongalong... for some reason women are just so superior to anything that ever existed or will ever exist!
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Re: funny

Postby HBS Guy » 03 Aug 2019, 09:34

Yup, I loved that one!
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Re: funny

Postby Aussie » 08 Aug 2019, 12:24

Hahaha.
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 13 Aug 2019, 07:22

52954AD0-FAF0-492A-B127-D8A510351A4F.jpeg
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"At least he's not Hillary" - Hatty

"There's only one solution: MORE guns!" - greggerypeccary

... "mr know it all" - Bongalong
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Re: funny

Postby SethBullock » 14 Aug 2019, 03:34

AC1E60D0-BFA4-4F8F-B61C-FD39A91C8BF6.jpeg
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"At least he's not Hillary" - Hatty

"There's only one solution: MORE guns!" - greggerypeccary

... "mr know it all" - Bongalong
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