Crappy cartoons, putrid puns ..

[HBS Guy]

Can this cat say yes?

[HBS Guy]

Nah, better to send a couple old planes to Iraq.

[Austranger]

[Aussie]

I came home from the golf course today. The wife had left a note on the fridge:

"IT'S NOT WORKING, I can't take it anymore!
Gone to stay with my Mother."

I opened the fridge, the light came on and the beer was cold.
What the hell is she talking about?

[HBS Guy]

[HBS Guy]

Add for Copenhagen zoo. Apparently a few people refused to get onboard

[HBS Guy]

Good news to start the day.

Bronwyn Bishop loses bid for international position

http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/ ... 17db0.html

As if the demented 110% partisan old bat would ever win that spot! Crazy!

[HBS Guy]

The ears are ammonite shells, ancestors of octopi, squid and cuttlefish. Some of these are huge!

[HBS Guy]

Cannabis-eating sheep munch through £4,000 in plants dumped near farm

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/ho ... 03420.html

[HBS Guy]

The Abbott govt isn’t really into science.

The Abbott govt is into Pulpit Fiction.


(from Twitter via PBX)

[HBS Guy]

Far out, this is brilliant!

[HBS Guy]

Classic put down.

[HBS Guy]

[HBS Guy]

Heh, “shirtfronting” skit on last nights 7.30 Report. Seems turncoat couldn’t see the humor in it, diddums. Idiot Abbott opened his big fat mouth and gets pinged for it. All good.

[HBS Guy]

Just found this great joke on the grauniad website –

A misogynist, a sociopath and a liar walk into a bar.
Barman: What’ll you have, Mr Abbott?


(From PBX)

[Austranger]

Just found this great joke on the grauniad website –

A misogynist, a sociopath and a liar walk into a bar.
Barman: What’ll you have, Mr Abbott?


(From PBX)

Like that one

[Austranger]

[HBS Guy]

[Austranger]

Good thread for that, let's face it, the Libs and their Great Leader are a putrid joke!

Maybe this will lighten the mood?

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.
>> She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep
>> the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she
>> decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.
>>
>>
>> Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other
>> a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else
>> applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would
>> be safer to have him around the house than the drunk
>>
>> He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every
>> day and knew a lot about ranching.
>>
>> For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing
>> very well.
>>
>> Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand,
>> "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great.
>> You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired
>> hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
>>
>> One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.
>> Two o'clock and no hired hand.
>>
>> Finally he returned a round two-thirty, and upon entering
>> the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the
>> fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She
>> quietly called him over to her..
>>
>> "Unbutton my blouse
>> and take it off," she said.
>>
>> Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots."
>>
>> He did as she asked, ever so slowly.. "Now take off my
>> socks."
>>
>> He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
>>
>> "Now take off my skirt."
>>
>> He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in
>> the fire light.
>>
>> "Now take off my bra.." Again, with trembling hands, he did
>> as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
>>
>>
>> Then she looked at him and said,
>>
>> "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."
>>
>>
>> (I didn't see it coming, either)

[Austranger]

A doctor addressing a large audience in Oxford...


Opening the floor for questions can be disastrous.

"The material we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High trans-fat diets can be disastrous and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by germs in our drinking water. But, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and most of us have, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"


After several seconds of quiet, a 70-year-old man in the front row raised his hand,

and softly said, "Wedding Cake"

[annielaurie]

Good ones ..

[HBS Guy]

[HBS Guy]

bwahahahaha this is a good’un!

[HBS Guy]

Tony Abbott was visiting a primary school and he walked into one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion on words and their meanings. The teacher asked the prime minister if he would like to lead the discussion on the word ‘tragedy’ so our illustrious prime minister asked the class for an example of a ‘tragedy’.

One little boy stood up and offered: ‘If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the paddock and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy?

‘No,’ said Abbott, ‘that would be an accident.’

A little girl raised her hand: ‘If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.’

‘I’m afraid not,’ explained Abbott ‘That’s what we would call a great loss.’

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Abbott searched the room. ‘Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?’

Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: ‘If the plane carrying you was struck by a ‘friendly fire’ missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.’

‘Fantastic!’ exclaimed Abbott . ‘That’s right.. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?

‘Well,’ says the boy, ‘It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn’t be a great loss… and it probably wouldn’t be a fuc king accident either”.

Ahhhh, the “voice from the back” which is a whole huge subdivision of humor. Never kind to authority figures

[HBS Guy]

Shorten asked “Can the PM advise who said no cuts to . . . the ABC. . .” because nobody is remembering who said it.”



(From this video: https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=1519107098341291)