Crappy cartoons, putrid puns ..

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Re: Crappy cartoons, putrid puns ..

Postby HBS Guy » 26 Jan 2016, 02:16

Abbott & Co are going to cause the mother and father of all recessions—be prepared!
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Re: Crappy cartoons, putrid puns ..

Postby HBS Guy » 05 Feb 2016, 18:42

A real faceplant:

[youtube]http://pbs.twimg.com/tweet_video/CaaDVXQUsAYbqV3.mp4[/youtube]
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Re: Crappy cartoons, putrid puns ..

Postby HBS Guy » 05 Feb 2016, 18:43

Abbott & Co are going to cause the mother and father of all recessions—be prepared!
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Re: Crappy cartoons, putrid puns ..

Postby HBS Guy » 19 Feb 2016, 18:12

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'
The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?' The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right-butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.

As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'
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Re: Crappy cartoons, putrid puns ..

Postby HBS Guy » 21 Apr 2016, 11:52

Jesus breakdancing on water:

Image
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Re: Crappy cartoons, putrid puns ..

Postby HBS Guy » 14 Aug 2016, 00:04

IQS.R.LOL


ahahahahahahaha
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Re: Crappy cartoons, putrid puns ..

Postby HBS Guy » 14 Aug 2016, 12:19

More LOLs. . .AiA trying to prove I am a liar by quoting a heap of crap and lies by, wait for it wait for it. . .Moaner Lisa. Yeah, that sunk without trace :jump

I emailed mantra and told her why I called her a liar.
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Re: Crappy cartoons, putrid puns ..

Postby HBS Guy » 18 Sep 2016, 09:42

Copied from PBX:

I re-offer this little anecdote as a defence to the sometimes perceived “over-the-top” posts from several of the members of this esteemed site…in that it may be detrimental to suppress the “creative urges” that spontaneously arise with impromptu blogging..and while good manners and discrection must be retained toward allowing the more extreme of loose talk, I would like to encourage a more “forgiving” toleration toward those who , quote: “can’t help themselves”..

Went away over the peninsular for a couple of days last week..nice break...on the way back, got the most endearing Aussie compliment from the OH…you see, we had just pulled out from the general store there at Pine Point..we had stopped for an ice-cream..we selected, and I was paying with the card ( these modern ice-creams cost the price of a small car!!) and I said to the lady behind the counter (one of our gen’) ;
“I see you’ve mastered the technology then?”
“Why? “ she asked curious as to what I meant.
“Well, when I was in here a couple of days ago, you were swearing at the card-swipe there and saying that it was all meant to be easier”.
“Oh, that!?” she replied in a slipping cockney accent (you can take the girl from the sound of Big Ben, but you can’t…)” It was the post-office charge thingy…it wouldn’t accept the name…and it seems if the name is hyphenated, like , say : ‘Donnington-Smythe’, you have to remove the hyphen to make it one word or it wont accept!”
“Crikey” I said, “ That could be embarrassing…I grew up with a bloke whose name was Fooke…and he married a girl named Whitt…so imagine the problem THAT could cause..!” and I raised my eyebrows and gave her the wide-eyed look!
“Ooo, I know, “ she shot back..” I got a friend with a name like that…ooo..how embarrassing!”
“ And then there’s Koshy, from ‘Sunrise’…you know?”
Ooo..yeah I know Koshy…Sunrise on Seven.”
“Well, he’s from the Barossa..and his name is not really pronounced “Koshy” up there, but how it is spelt is how it sounds !” and I gave her the fluttering eyebrow treatment again..
“Yes, well” she responded excitedly ” …this friend’s name is spelt F-U-C-H…and it really is pronounced…” and she paused and looked at me knowingly..
“Ooo..I know, I know!”…I exchanged.
And we both laughed heartily and we left the shop with her cackling and she called out as we were just out side..
“ Ahh, ha..thank you..that’s made my day that ‘as…”
And as we drove away, the OH, while intently unwrapping her Ice cream, said (without looking at me) in that quiet, subdued ‘wifely tone’…;”Jeesus, you’re a bullshit artist..”
“Thank you my love” I replied after an appropriate pause and touched her arm tenderly.
” …we aim to please”
And I do believe THAT, to a raconteur as I aspire to be, is one of the most complimentary things that can be said.


https://pbxmastragics.com/2016/09/16/%e5%a4%9a%e8%a8%80%e8%aa%9e%e9%87%91%e6%9b%9c%e6%97%a5/comment-page-2/#comment-248865
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Re: Crappy cartoons, putrid puns ..

Postby HBS Guy » 12 Nov 2016, 21:43

Puns
‏@TheFunnyWorId

Wanna talk about Sodium?
Na

Nitric Oxide?
NO

Oxygen Magnesium Phosphorus Iodine Sulfur or Fluorine?
OMg PIS OFF

...Potassium?
K
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Re: Crappy cartoons, putrid puns ..

Postby HBS Guy » 01 Dec 2016, 16:19

Unfortunate logo:

Image

:jump
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Re: Crappy cartoons, putrid puns ..

Postby HBS Guy » 03 Feb 2017, 12:20

An oldie, apparently, but I like this one:

Image
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Re: Crappy cartoons, putrid puns ..

Postby HBS Guy » 03 Feb 2017, 12:21

I like this one:

Image
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Re: Crappy cartoons, putrid puns ..

Postby HBS Guy » 01 Apr 2017, 20:28

Apologies in advance – but this is so bad it’s good—


A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman,
‘Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?’

The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie.

The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves.

The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie.

The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub, (because word gets round), gives the rabbit the pint and the Toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves.

The next night, the pub is packed.

In walks the rabbit and says, ‘A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.’

The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie, and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down.

The next night there is standing room only in the pub.

Coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending.

The barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year

In walks the rabbit and says, ‘A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.’

The barman says, ‘I’m sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties.’

The rabbit looks aghast.

The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says,
‘We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie.

The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, ‘Are you sure I will like it.’

The crowd’s bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.

The barman, with a roguish smile says, ‘Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you’ll love it.’

‘Ok,’ says the rabbit, ‘I’ll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie.’

The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie.

He then waves to the crowd and leaves….

NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!

One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the barman, (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his), calls time.

When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar.

The barman says, ‘Who are you?

To which he is answered,
‘I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.’

The barman says, ‘I remember you. You made me famous.

You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. Masses came to see you and this place was famous.’

The rabbit says, ‘Yes I know.’

The barman said, ‘I remember, on your last night we didn’t have any Ham and Cheese Toasties. You had a Cheese and Onion one instead.’

The rabbit said, ‘Yes, you promised me that I would love it.’

The barman said, ‘You never came back, what happened?’

‘I DIED’, said the rabbit.

‘NO!’ said the barman. ‘What from?’

After a short pause, the rabbit said …

‘Mixin-me-toasties’
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