Where ever I am, here in Australia, or in the USA, I'm always aware of my surroundings, & I also know what my self-defense capabilities are depending on my surroundings.....whether I'm here or there.
The fact that you consciously think about such things is extremely sad (in my opinion).
You have every right to carry your guns, and every right to be scared - I'm not denying that or trying to take it away from you.
I just feel incredibly sorry for you, that's all.
I can't imagine how awful it must be to go through life like that.
When I walk out my front door, the absolute last thing on my mind is self-defense (or weapons).